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27 juillet 2022
Occasional hookups are totally cool, but whether you’re having casual sex to relax or for entirely different reasons, there are things you have to consider before you go doin’ do. So, before you swig a six-pack and keep it steamy with the 3’someone, keep reading to see if casual sex is not so simple or casual after all.
Here’s How to Have a Healthy, Realistic Sex Life
While we like to think casual sex is the quintessential American ideal, in reality, it’s pretty common to have sex for reasons far removed from carnality. According to the National Women’s Health Survey, 17% of women surveyed (who were between ages 18 to 44) said sex was more than just recreation and 17% of men said the same of women, and those who answered that way weren’t lying.
The Bad News
Myths About Casual Sex
While hooking up has become an accepted part of our daily lives, there are tons of myths around casual sex that often still linger. Some are legit, while others are misconceptions that can be limiting and make you stop doing something that might otherwise be great. Read on to find out the real scoop about casual sex.
Having casual sex can cut the risk of heart disease.
It’s commonly known that having sex and drinking alcohol can cause a heart attack, so it makes sense that people like to link the two. But the truth is that a lot of the so-called risks of casual sex apply to guys as well. A woman’s risk of heart disease goes down if they have a one-night stand, and a man’s risk of heart disease goes up if he does, but if a guy does any combination of the two of these things, his risk of heart disease goes down.
Here’s the most important take-away? Stay smart and you’ll be fine.
Casual sex isn’t for everyone.
If you’re looking for long-term relationships, casual sex is probably not for you. The American Psychological Association’s latest study puts the ideal relationship duration at seven years, in 2014. And while people like to make the correlation between casual sex and a lack of commitment, it’s actually very different in real life. The majority of people who have casual sex have more than a few partners over the course of their lifetime. Meanwhile, almost no one who has a casual relationship over a five-year period ever keeps it up past seven years. That means casual sex is mostly for two-tim
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The short answer: It depends. That’s what we’re here for. And whether you’re in the market for a one-night stand or a fling that blossoms into something long term, we’re here to help. So while many of the apps are excellent for meeting people, few are ideal for staying committed. Here’s what they can do for you.
Image: iStock.com/Filipe Marquez
How to use a dating app
Hooking up with someone you meet online is a relatively new concept. Apps are necessary, as a way to connect with like-minded people, but they can be problematic, too. If you are planning on hooking up with someone you meet on a dating app, ask yourself these questions.
Does this person look like a mess? Show and tell your « other half » what it’s like to date a tucker monster. Tell us what’s up with « O, » and this story will be filled with giggles and jealousy. No matter what, you want your relationship to be healthy and you feel comfortable about the other person.
Do they seem like they’re on board? Ask if they understand that you’re on this dating app because you want someone committed. If you pick someone who isn’t on the same page, that’s an easy way to start to build resentment. « People get on this app to meet someone — that’s not necessarily a commitment, » says Lawrence Cohen, a psychologist and author of The New York Times best seller, The Mating Mind.
Is this person a total tool? No, okay? People are also on dating apps because they want sex, or to impress their other half. Even if they’ve been dabbling in the wilder side of Tinder, double-down on your warning. If this person starts talking about the time they fucked a stranger in Amsterdam, shut down the conversation and walk away.
When you start seeing someone, you want them to love you as much as you do them.
Do they even know you exist? If they message you and you don’t get a response, their attention is not on you and you should leave.
Are they willing to meet with you in person? Does your friend have a mate? Start looking in your friend group. If your pal isn’t serious, you’re likely waiting for someone who isn’t serious.
How confident do you feel? If they want to meet you in person, their confidence will help you understand if they’re truly invested or whether they just